Call jokes

What do you call a color that doesn't exist?

A pigment of your imagination.

The sex position 69 will now be called 96

This is due to inflation, the cost of eating out increased.

A kindergarten teacher is teaching her class about animals...

She would hold ip a picture of the animal and the class would cry out in unison.

COW!

SHEEP!

When the teacher got to the deer the class was clueless.

"It has horns" She said

But the class was silent

"Sometimes your mom calls your dad this animal"

Little timmy throws his hands up and shouts, "IS IT A HORNY BASTARD?!"

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A roam'n catholic

Did you hear about the stage production called “Dictionary”?

It’s a play on words.

What do you call an orgy with 8 women?

Octopus.

What do you call adult-only Chess videos?

Pawn

I've been told by people I light up a room

According to police it's called arson and those people are "witnesses"

What do Grammar Nazis call their movement?

The Alt-Write.

What do you call a girl that doesn't suck dick?

You don't.

Last time I stayed at a hotel I asked the front desk for a wake up call.

She called me twenty minutes later and said, "what the fuck are you doing with your life?"

What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?

##

A PDF File.

What do you call fapping to dubstep?

Wubbing one out.

What do you call a wheel that you wear?

A tire

My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed. It completely ruined our 10-year anniversary.

Why do orphans go to church? Because they can finally call someone father.

What do you call an orphan's family reunion?

Me time.

A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

The boy licks his cone and replies:

"Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.

Then they call me ugly and poor.

I don't call it suicide. I call it population control.